Every story has a beginning; my story begins 6 years ago, at the hands of my dear douche-bag cousin passing me a spliff. I knew what it was, but what i didn't know was that one decision, which in hindsight was a poor one, would ultimately reshape my entire future. I was just being a curious 12 year old boy, but that curiosity didn't take long to morph into obsession and a habit that warped peoples opinions of me and my own opinion of myself. Gone was the boy who could name every dinosaur off the top of his head, dead was the child who spent hours upon hours making perfect Lego kingdoms; a new age had dawned, the age of the supreme douche who spent every waking moment with his cousin getting high and playing roles in his tomfoolery. The boy who emerged from that party one fine Winter night was terrible, and powerful, and despised. He would control my body for all of middle school and some of high school, but all things pass in time, and the Quaid most people know and love is what came out of that horrible little boy. But until that awakening in Freshman year, Khubla Quaid roamed the halls of northern middle like a starving jungle cat, waiting for his next victim. If someone left their locker open, then they'd be in for a surprise consisting of an open Gatorade bottle spilling out on them next time they opened it. When lunch was out, my evil co-conspirator, Carl Riffe, and I would apit our gum on the floor and coax unaware passerbys into our sticky trap. More time was spent suspended in NMS then was really necessary, but it was all well deserved. From lighting the cookie on fire in the cafeteria to gluing Mr Giles door shut, every crime held a lesson, as well as a punishment...Ask me about my weenuh Show me your titties.
- demon: i possessed you
- me: get the fuck out
- demon: damn...aight...rude ass bitch...i just need a place to stay my girl kicked me out and i aint got no money...
- me: shit man, you can stay but don't be spinning my head like an owl and shit
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